


It Was a Thursday

by HPFandom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Romance, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-06-29
Updated: 2004-06-29
Packaged: 2018-09-30 12:12:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10162778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HPFandom_archivist/pseuds/HPFandom_archivist
Summary: I wanted to know what all the hype was about. I needed experience and that meant Slytherin. I needed someone I would never forget. I chose Draco Malfoy.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from SeparatriX, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [HP Fandom](http://fanlore.org/wiki/HP_Fandom_\(archive\)), which was closed for health and financial reasons. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [HP Fandom collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hpfandom/profile).

_I don’t own Harry Potter or anything Harry Potter so don’t sue me. No flames please but lots of reviews! I like those! I write based on reviews. Enjoy! Check out my website at www.draconis-carpe-noctem.com, or my livejournal at www.livejournal.com/users/serenitas._

 

I always wondered what sex would be like (I’m a teenage boy, shoot me). Fantasizing and reading books on the subject (pathetic I know), Drifting in my ignorance, too embarrassed to speak a word to anyone – and that included my best friend and dorm mates. You’d think after nearly 7 years we could speak about this stuff. You’d think wrong. The day I decided to take matters into my own hands so to speak and stop wanking myself off was a Thursday. It's the worst day of the week in my opinion. Nothing good ever happens on a Thursday. But I made up my mind to find out what sex is, and what it’s like and maybe, just maybe figure out what all the hype is about. Ron and Hermione certainly talk about it enough, but I’m not supposed to have figured out their code and ignore what they are talking about. I think they are afraid to corrupt something, under the impression that I was totally ignorant of such matters or me. Oh if they only knew the inner recesses of my mind.

 

I figured out I was attracted to guys in my fifth year, after the crush with Cho. Seamus and Dean helped a lot, being so open about their relationship. I always had dear little Ginny if I had so desired. Imagine my surprise to discover that I didn’t desire her, but I was awfully attracted to the twins. I spent countless hours talking to Fred and George and they really helped me sort out the mess in my head. I guess at some point I should tell Sirius, but if you had a godfather who was capable of remorseless murder and had a bad temper would you tell him something like this? I thought not. 

 

So it was a rainy Thursday when I made up my mind (yes I thought about this, no need for sniggers from you). I needed someone experienced. Someone who knew enough to make it pleasurable and not expect a relationship in return - that was the last thing I needed, or wanted. That meant a Slytherin. I needed discretion. If word of this got out I’d be forever shamed. I needed someone who saw me for me, not the Boy Who Lived. I didn’t need any awe struck people thinking _‘I’m shagging the Boy Who Lived! Lucky me!’_ You need someone you can depend on in this situation, someone who you at least reasonably trust. This is after all, the most memorable moment of your life; this is the **ONE** you will always remember until you die. Despite the scholarly purposes I began this I do want someone who I will always think fondly of. There was no going back once I finally convinced myself to do this. I took a deep breath and made my final choice.

 

I chose Draco Malfoy.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

I decided I didn’t just want a casual lay, I wanted to know what it was like to be semi-courted; then seduced, resulting in mind blowing shagging and Draco was most definitely the right person for the job. He fit all my requirements (I know it’s sad, I made a list of bloody requirements). He’s attractive, clean and oh so experienced if all the rumours and gossip are to be believed. Draco ‘Sex God’ Malfoy, King of Slytherin, the one who will rock your world and then some and keep you coming back for more. The walking, talking, breathing orgasm, he was not going to want some poncey little relationship afterwards, nope, no sir. He’d be off to his next conquest, I will have found out what I need to know and can go back to my daily life. It was a perfect plan, now all I had to do was convince him, and this was going to take deviousness, cunning, and sucking up. I was almost put in Slytherin for a reason. Sometimes in my darkest nights I think I would have made a damn good Slytherin, given those wankers a run for their money…but I digress.

I couldn’t approach him in detention – he never gets it and its so clichéd in any case. Now **HOW** to convince him? Attention to detail boys and girls! This is important stuff! I decided to just approach him while he was eating in the Great Hall. I could wait until after Quidditch practice, when we’re all alone in the locker rooms…but Dean and Seamus already did that. I like to be original. I could wait until after class – but Ron and Hermione did that and then some. No, just walking up in public…that has merit. Hopefully he won’t dump his morning coffee on me. I can’t tell him I’m a virgin – a 16-year-old male virgin is laughable in the wizarding world where the normal age is 15. How to be convincing? Slytherins play hardball (do they have them? I’ll have to find out.). Remember that.

I approach him and ignore his cronies. Silence has already fallen at the Slytherin table. I clear my throat and screw up my courage. I haven’t told anyone my plan, nor will I. The looks the Gryffindors are giving me are rather interesting though, and I can read enough of them to know that I will have some serious explaining to do when I get back to the table. Hopefully I won’t be near there until much, MUCH later when everyone has cooled off and I won’t be hung, drawn and quartered. I know there are many people who would gladly help me out with this…*situation*, however I don’t want any of them to be a part of it. I share so much of my life with everyone I know (and most people I don’t), that I just want a little part for myself. Let them stay in the dark. I might explain to Seamus (or not – gossipy pouf that he is), possibly Dean – he can keep his mouth shut; but not Ron or ‘Mione. No I can’t tell them this…until later. “Malfoy.” I say in a calm tone, rather glad my voice isn’t shaking. 

“Potter.” He spat my name at me. Why had I never before noticed that it sounded sexy? 

I clear my throat. _‘Courage Harry, you’re a Gryffindor.’_ “Might I be so honoured as to have a word with you in private?” I hope he’s impressed by flowery speech, but judging from his expression…I’d say not.

Looking as though there was an onion in his coffee, he smirked. “I regret to inform you that I am not slumming today, although it is a historical moment indeed whenst thou wouldst request and audience with myself.”

I hope I don’t look as confused as I feel. I’m rather pleased that I managed to keep the ‘eh?’ from slipping out. “Ah but your Royal Hiney, I insist." I press. Uh oh. His eyes are narrowing dangerously. My dangers senses are tingling as warning bells to get the hell out are going off. 

“Then you can say it in front of all of us Potter.” He sneered, ending the gamer.

“Are you afraid to face me in private… ferret face?” I arch an eyebrow. Remember Slytherins are cowards but if you rub their faces in it, they’ll turn on you…well…like a trapped snake.

“I’m not afraid of you Potter.” He snaps. “It’ll be a cold day in hell when I am.”

I squint out the window. “I’ll be buggered! Satan is giving free sleigh rides!” Score 1 for Team Potter!

He storms to his feet. “Outside Potter! Now!” he says in an imperious tone. As he stalks out ahead of me I try to peek at his arse through his robes. No luck. Damn things are far too thick for their own good. I sigh in disappointment. He turns a corner where we are reasonably secluded and faces me, his eyes glowing with an unholy fury, his face flushed from the insult I dealt him in the Hall. “What the **HELL** is it you little pissant?” he snarls as I approach.

“I want to ask you a favour.” I reply coolly. I wonder briefly if I can still back out – but do I want to?

He seems torn between laughter and an outright no. He settles for a small chuckle, crosses his arms and leans against a statue. “I’m listening.”

“You and all the Slytherins.” I mutter. Crabbe and Goyle suck at Recon. Big surprise there. Everyone shocked and horrified by this information raise your hands, stand on your heads and sing “God Save the Queen.” I cast a Silencing Spell around us, take a deep breath and turn to an impatient Dragon who’s now tapping his foot in undisguised annoyance.

I open my mouth; unable to believe I’m about to say this. My common sense and logic are on their knees, begging me to reconsider. I ignore them. I am a Gryffindor for Merlin’s sake! When did sense OR logic ever have a place in our lives? “Would you shag me?”

 

* * * * * * * * * * * *

If I have one regret in life, it’s that I didn’t have a picture of his face as I said it. Common Sense and Logic packed their bags and waved farewell as they quit the field. I have never seen Malfoy totally caught off guard before and I’m rather thrilled to be the first go cause this. He’s sputtering in front of me, as though he got a face full of water thrown at him. He’s gaping like a fish, all thoughts of Malfoy grace gone from him in this moment. If I had known I’d get this reaction, I would’ve asked him sooner. **_“WHAT?”_** he finally manages to push to the surface. 

I close my eyes and sigh, trying to keep my courage going strong. Courage it seems left with Common Sense and Logic. I see it on the horizon bidding me adieu and bon voyage and good luck to you. Cowardly courage. Wait…does that make sense? Oh no matter. In any case, I have to say something. “I asked you if you would shag me.” I say again.

He shakes his head and looks more than a little disconcerted. This is good. This works for me. “Why?” 

I see he won’t be moving beyond one-syllable words for some time, so I launch into my pre-prepared speech. “I have had some pretty miserable encounters in my time and I have heard so much about what it’s like when someone is good at what they do and basically an expert. Your reputation precedes you in matters of the bedroom and I was thinking that perhaps you and I could have a go.”

He narrows those gorgeous silver eyes at me and walks towards me, suspicious. Hell if I were he I’d have already hexed my arse from here to County Kerry. “Just general shag Potter? You are my hated rival, why would I POSSIBLY want to touch you in any intimate way?”

“Well just think, if there is all this explosive energy between us when we fight and try to annihilate the other, then think what it would be like if we turned that onto each other and went at it.” I say hastily. Come on, he HAS to buy this. This is the biggest load of codswallop that I have ever doled out, and believe me when I say have shovelled my fair amount of BS.

He tilts his head to the side and I have this overwhelming desire to see how he’d react if I played vampire and went for his neck, to kiss it, to taste it…bad Harry! Bad! Aw geez, now I sound like Dobby! “You have a point Potter, and I confess I have wondered what you would be like. Very well, because you are basically the only one in this school I haven’t had in my bed, and because you did lower yourself to come and beg me to do this. I will.” He glances around. “Tonight soon enough?”

I clear my throat. “Well Malfoy,” I begin. Ok, now the sticky part begins. “I don’t just want to be thrown on a bed and mounted like some animal,”

He opens his mouth to object I’m certain but I trod right over his objections. “I have never been courted and I want to know what it’s like.”

“Courted?” he says in a faint voice. “With a relationship and true love and waking up in your arms in the morning? Bugger that.” He turns to leave. “Deal’s off.”

I reach out to him hastily. He can’t go yet! “No Malfoy, now listen!” I grab his arm and pull him back, ignoring the shocked and livid expression on his face. I’m guessing he’s never been manhandled like that before. “I just want to be semi-courted, so I can get a feel of what it is like, that’s all. I want to be seduced since I never have been, have a few rounds of mind blowing shagging and then that’s it. Done. End of contract. I require discretion on all matters pertaining to this and I know that you are very discreet.”

“YOU’D require discretion?” he smirks. “To say nothing of my reputation, although it will make for an interesting notch in my bedpost when I put your name there.” He pauses. “For what duration are we talking about?”

I hesitate, knowing he’s sure to say no. “About a month I was thinking.”

“Bollocks to that. I’m not saddling myself with you for a bloody month!” he protested, as I knew he would. 

“Well I was just taking into account the whole courting thing…”

“Potter, before you say another word, cease and desist with the whole courting thing. Dating. Seeing each other. Hanging out. This isn’t Old England when we have to court under the presence of watchful chaperones. Speaking of, I don’t perform in front of an audience, so when we are doing this I don’t want the Mudblood or the Weasel around. I don’t want them joining us in anything. This will require cunning and stealth and lying through your pretty white teeth. Think you can do that?”

How is it that when he’s insulting me, he still sounds sexy? He must practice it in private. I was reluctant to admit that I had a rather serious crush on him at this point, which made my plan even better. I can get the shagging and get Draco Malfoy out of my system all at the same time. I am a genius, really I am. “I can do what is needed.” I say coolly.

One side of his mouth quirks up in a semi smile as he arches an eyebrow at me. “I am not your boyfriend nor do I wish to be referred to as such. I will draw up a contract that will be mutually beneficial to both of us. Remember that this is a business transaction and after this is done I never want you to come near me again.”

Did anyone else just hear my heart plummet to the floor? Have I grown that fondly attached to my rival? Oh damn, I suddenly realize that Common Sense and Logic might have had a point. I could lose much more than my innocence in this. I might just lose my heart. “Am I correct in assuming that we will still argue and fight in public?”

“Damn straight.” He pauses. “Why did you choose me? Wouldn’t you choose one of the hordes of women who fall at your feet? I know there are some more than adequate girls who can give you the experience and discretion you require.”

“Yes, well, about that…” I hesitate.

He lets out a genuine laugh of astonishment. “Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived is a pouf? And you ousted yourself to me?”

“I want a man not a boy who thinks he can.” I say to him, trying to hold onto SOME shred of dignity. “I’ve never been with a guy and I think it can really help me make up my mind.” And the award for biggest lie of the year goes to…

“Ok I’m in. I’ll contact you with the contract and the details.”

“My word isn’t enough?” he fixes me in an unblinking stare. “Ok fine, have it your way then.” I grumble.

“I intend to.” He smirks. “See you around…lover.”

He swaggers as he walks away from me and once more I curse the thickness of school robes.

* * * * * * * * * *

True to form Malfoy brought the contact to me and I read it over, pretending that I understood the legalese he used in it. He signed with a flourish at the bottom and as I leaned over to sign, I felt the slightest tickle of his hands as he brushed his fingertips over my lower back, appraising. “There, your contract is signed.” I say, standing upright.

“Indeed. All technicalities my dear.” He replied. “I think we should seal it another way.”

“And how is that?” I asked, somewhat suspicious, and somehow expecting what he would do next.

I was right. He leaned forward and caught my lips in a kiss, my first one. I had read about kisses and the first one, and how you feel all warm and melty inside, how tingles of desire race through you at the first touch of skin to skin. They were all filthy lies. There was no tingling, no warmth, no melting on my part. I felt like I had been tossed into an inferno instead. Instead of warmth there was blazing chemistry, exploding and going off like a thousand nuclear bombs, the melting inside never happened replaced instead by a rapid hardening of various body parts that sought release in a way I had never been able to make myself feel. There was no tingling, only a fierce desire to shove him against the nearest wall and figure out what I was doing as I went along. I could never have enough I had to have more. His mouth opened over mine and I felt like I was being devoured. His hands caressed my arse as his lips moved off mine and down to my neck. I closed my eyes, I gasped for air, and I reached for him only to find him gone.

He stood back, slightly dishevelled with an all-knowing smirk on his lips that I just wanted to kiss off. “Well I’d say that lack of interest is not going to be an issue sweet thing.” He drawled in that imperious manner of his that made me want to kiss or kill him. Kissing sounded good right about now. 

When he walked away, his copy of the contract in his hands, he gave me a chaste kiss, brushed his body against mine and was gone. I was left with my jaw hanging open staring after him and a raging problem I would have to do something about…rapidly.

* * * * * * * * * * *

The next week convinced me that I had totally lost my mind. What was I thinking when I said I wanted to be courted and seduced? Why didn’t I keep the original plan of meaningless sex? Malfoy has come through on all counts, always showing up when I’m alone, for kissing and caressing me in ways that leave me yearning for more, for whispering all the things he plans to do to me as long as I am willing to, in a voice that is husky and laden with tension and desire. I really am starting to think that he feels more for me than just animosity. You can’t treat someone you hate with such gentle dignity. He could make a fool out of me for this whole entire plan; instead, he’s been…well… charming for lack of a better word. I can see why girls and guys throw themselves at him. The school is abuzz with the fact that he has not laid eyes on anyone this week, and the gossip is raging about a secret lover that he has, and one he won’t cheat on or leave.

If only it were true. Every time he takes me in his arms I lose a little bit more of myself to him. I don’t dare tell him that of course, this is only an experiment. I sound so pathetic don’t I? I’m totally losing sight of the big picture, which is to find out what all the hype about sex is and then move on with life, and not be bogged down by any difficulties that arise. That’s it. Just one step above wham, bam, thank you…sir.

The most memorable out of this whole endeavour was when I was heading towards the Divination classroom to spend yet another precious hour of my youth listening to Trelawney wail about my sudden, instant and immediate death. I was reaching for the ladder, not too worried about being late. If I listen very closely she is gravely informing the class that I have met my untimely demise at last and oh how sad it is, he was in the flower of his life. I will never tell the old bat that I am a Seer. I have the Sight and that would make her so jealous and angry, she just might fail me.

I’m trailing off again. I was reaching for the ladder when I was pulled back from behind and a kiss laid on my lips as two hands splayed themselves over my chest and pinched and flicked my nipples. Keep in mind that I am bending backwards here, so I am totally on display for anyone who dares walk by. One of his hands drifts lower to my groin where I am more than happy to cut class today if he wants to conclude this little experiment. “Enjoy your class Harry.” He whispers thickly into my ear before vanishing again. I would think he Apparated somewhere, but as Hermione keeps repeating to Ron, over and over and over again is that you can’t apparate or disapparate on Hogwarts grounds. And now … I have to go to class when my mind is anywhere but on my death …except for the little one. Hmm…why is it called the Little Death? I’ll have to find that out as well.

 

Slytherins don’t play fair, I’m sure you know this by now. When one is on the Quidditch pitch, one should not look at their enemy who they are going to shag in a matter of days and is currently snogging rather heavily. One should not be affected by said enemy drawing his tongue in a scandalous pattern along the ridge of his broomstick. One should not fall off their broom due to almost asphyxiating because they were holding their breath. Damn him for that! I’m the captain of my team and I fall off my broom like a little first year learning how to fly. I’ll have to pay him back for that.

Potions class is actually fun these days, perhaps because the rest of the world is oblivious to what is happening between us and our insults are flying heavily laden with double meanings and innuendo. I think Snape finally figured it out when he heard me casually ask Malfoy if he knew how to hold his wand properly and if he didn’t I’d be happy to show him how it’s done.

If you have never seen Professor Snape stunned beyond all forms of disbelief I highly recommend you do it. Now. Today. Or you can find Colin and buy that infamous picture taken of his face, which has now made Colin rich - and Snape a laughingstock. Snape is surlier than usual and Malfoy and I continue our covert operation. I am going to meet him tonight for some more snogging and I think that I will tell him that tonight is the night. I am bored with this now. I know what it is to be courted, and to be seduced. I am ready for the final stage because I have this feeling within my chest that is making it hard to breathe when I see him. I must be coming down with something.

* * * * * * * * * * *

How does one dress to lose their virginity? I look at myself in the mirror and am disgusted, finally figuring out why no one ever did approach me. Ron and Hermione and anyone else I know never told me that I look like a drowned rat, and that my eyes make me bear a strong resemblance to Trelawney. I have to do something about this; I can’t go to him looking like this. I am clueless when it comes to fashion and therefore I must ask someone in Gryffindor who can keep their mouth shut. “Oy! Dean! Can I talk to you for a second?” I holler into the common room.

Dean comes galloping up the stairs with his little Irish Imp at his heels. “What’s up Harry?” he asks easily.

“I need your help.” I tell him. In a few words I explain my dilemma and he is eager to help. Seamus is bouncing around trying to figure out who it is and gleefully telling Dean that he knew I was one of them.  
I do not object when they cast the charm on me to fix my eyes…no more glasses at last! I remain pretty closemouthed about the whole thing but draw the line when Seamus says he wants to put a nipple ring on me. Dear Merlin what has Dean got himself into? Dean shrugs and says Seamus gets carried away sometimes. Sometimes? Love really is blind isn’t it? Then again I am about to shag my rival so perhaps… 

All in all I am in shock and awe. I never knew I could look like this. I didn’t know this person was hiding inside me. I thank them for their help and then head to my rendezvous with a silver eyed Slytherin.

I am actually shaking as I head to the appointed location tonight. I feel disappointment that tonight will be the end of it all and I wonder why. I am attracted to him true, and yes I fear that I am falling for him…but I haven’t fallen yet. Clean break. Contract. Remember the contract. “Fidelius.” I mutter to the painting, which swings open to let me in to a room I discovered by accident many years ago. My jaw drops as I take in the scene.

“Seduction you wanted Potter, seduction you will get.” Malfoy’s voice rings through the room. “Tonight is the end of it.”

“Fine with me.” I reply. This is what I wanted…isn’t it? I inch further into the room I had come to think of as mine. He had only two or three candles burning, leaving much to the shadows that filled the room. Instead of the sparse furnishings I had managed to transfigure, there was now a luxurious carpet near the window where moonlight streamed in. The rickety little couch I was so proud of was gone and replaced by the largest bed I had ever seen. To give you an idea of how big it was I could say that all the Weasleys, Hagrid and the Gryffindor Quidditch team could lay in it and there would still be room left over. Platters of finger food were scattered in various locations and the one chair I had created was replaced by what appeared to be the wizard version of the Lay-Z-Boy. “Holy shite Malfoy.”

“Is that all you have to say?” he asks as he comes out of the shadows that cloaked his form from me. Might I just pause for a moment to check for drool and say DAMN! 

You’d think that someone as pale as him, with blonde hair wouldn’t look good in white but he does. You’d think that the purity of white on one such as him would be wrong. I was the innocent one here (but he didn’t know that), not him. I kept telling myself he looked like the Glad Man off telly, but it didn’t work. He looked like an angel that had fallen to earth and was coming for me. He was the polar opposite of what I was wearing. His white shirt didn’t close; it came in a deep cut down to his navel where I could see the muscles in his torso moving. He hadn’t gelled his hair and it fell naturally around his face…and his pants. Oh. Sweet. Merlin. They hid nothing but rather enhanced his…puissance. For those of you who are Muggle born perhaps you could think of the movie Labyrinth and the outfit that David Bowie character had on. I suspect that Malfoy saw that movie as well. Oh I hope I’m not drooling. 

He is looking at me with appraising eyes. “Not bad at all Potter.” He approves. “You’re one fine piece of arse.”

I blush and am grateful for the shadows that cloak my shyness. I was so uncertain about this look until this moment. Dean agreed fully with Seamus that leather was most definitely me. Black and silver leather, Leather that was so tight I was afraid to attempt to sit down. A shirt that was nothing at all and left nothing to the imagination, Seamus, before Dean could stop him HAD managed to give me a tattoo on my right forearm. I actually liked it. Blimey…did Malfoy just lick his lips when he looked at me? I must be imagining things.

He gave me the come hither gesture with his finger and, drawing in a breath, I went.

Looking back now I see that I didn’t cover my nervousness well at the time. I went to him shaking slightly. He once again had that smirk on his features as his hands caressed mine, and moved to my shoulders to give me a massage. “Relax Potter.” He whispered into my ear. “Tonight is all about pleasure. You will learn what you wanted to, I will get you and then we go our separate ways in the light of day. We only have this one night so we’ll make the most of it and then you will know the answer to your question.”

How cryptic. How typical. How unbelievably erotic, I had expected to be thrown on the floor or on my rickety couch and have it done there, I didn’t expect him to go all out for this and I told him so. “My reputation as Virtuoso of the Bedroom is on the line here Potter. This is what we agreed to in the contract, and if you want it done right you come to me.” 

I couldn’t reply, I couldn’t say anything to that, the setting of the whole thing like a dream tailor made to me. How did he know that this was my fantasy and the lines between fantasy and reality were blurring? A mere week and some after this all began it would end tonight.

I got to my feet and he took one of my hands in his. Making eye contact with me he smiled gently and pulled me close to him in…a hug. I returned the hug and closed my eyes, just enjoying the sensation of it, of being held in someone else’s arms, of feeling them breathe, of feeling their body. His hands began to move as he kissed me and I did something I have never willingly done before in my life. I submitted to his touch. 

It was a dream or wasn’t it? The candles were snuffed with a wave of his hand; only the moonlight was our illumination as he laid me back on the bed. Dear Merlin what is he doing with his lips? His hands were everywhere, around me, on me…in me. I didn’t think I could handle the pleasure for another minute, didn’t think I could take it and then I felt dampness and knew he was preparing me for the final step. When he entered me at first it hurt and I didn’t know what I would do. I didn’t think I could take it and cursed myself to having the worst ideas on the planet. And then he moved.

This is what everyone talks about when they mention the act. This is the moment of intimacy that is unmatched by anything else. There are no words spoken between, just hands clasping and eyes meeting and me chanting his name as he moans my own. No more Malfoy and Potter, rather Draco and Harry. I am fighting to hold on…but I cannot. I see stars. I think I’ve died and now I know why it is the Little Death. I feel him coming and I hold him as he collapses. His eyes are shut and he’s asleep and my experiment is over and I have found out what I needed to know. “I love you.” I whisper to him and kiss his temple. “Thank you.”

* * * * * * * * * * *

Ron has accused me of moping. Seamus and Dean asked how my special night went but I didn’t reply, I couldn’t. How could I tell them that I gave my heart to the one person who would never return it? That night we barely slept; he kept his promise and showed me everything he knew and in return I learned. I lost my yoke of virginity and am moving on with my life…or am I? I see him in passing and my eyes follow him, yearning. We don’t fight any more because I don’t have the desire to fight with him, I can’t hurt him with my words, if I ever did. I trudge down hallways, the world seeming grey and cold to me. I curse myself for a fool and condemn myself to die miserable and alone.

I return to the room where it happened. All the beautiful things he had put in there are gone and my stark and shoddily transfigured things remain. It’s appropriate I think, for the beauty is gone in my life. It left with him. 

I sound maudlin don’t I? I don’t know how this happened. This was an experiment; this was something I had to do. I didn’t plan on falling for him; I just admitted I was attracted to him. Ah the loneliest words ‘if only.’ At least my grades have gone up this past month since the…incident as I refer to it. I’m rather proud of that. I spend all my time here in this room, not in the common room, or in the library. I like it here. 

“So this is where you hide yourself Potter.” His voice came drawling into the room. “I should’ve guessed from the off.”

“Were you looking for me?” I asked him carelessly. “What do you want to say? There is nothing left to say between us. Contract fulfilled.”

“You keep telling yourself that then Potter.” He looked amused. “I however have a bone to pick with you.”

“Oh?”

“You told me that you had lacklustre experience in the bedroom and you wanted to learn from a real man what it was like, correct.”

“Yes.”

“Do you or do you not admit that you lied to me? You had no experience. You came to me a virgin.”

“Does it matter?”

“Damn it yes!” he looked angry. “Answer the question!”

“Yes if it’s any of your business.” I turn back to my textbook only to have it yanked out of my hands by a furious Draco.

“Oh you’re bloody well right it’s my business you wanker.” He paused, collecting himself. “You gave me your first kiss as well.”

“How on earth did you figure any of this out?” I ask, bewildered. I hadn’t told a soul.

“I am extremely knowledgeable about such things. When I kissed you the first time, you were stiff and rigid, holding your breath. When I popped up to see you in the hallways you jumped like a frightened child, that night we spent here, you didn’t really touch me, you didn’t know what to do, or what to expect.”

I nodded. He made sense. “I didn’t know I was that bad.” I murmur.

“What I want to know Potter, is why me. Why, out of everyone in this blasted school did you choose me? I was your first in all things Potter, and I want to know why.”

“I just heard you were the best.” 

“And the whole you saying you loved me bit? Were you going to mention that?” 

Damn, damn damn! I never should have said that. “It was the aftermath you know.” I shrug. “Don’t pay it a mind.”

He’s standing in front of me now, and tilting my face up to look at his. “What if I want to?”

I’m at a loss for words. 

“I came here today to tell you something Pott …Harry.”

I’m still stunned in silence. He can’t possibly mean…

“I love you too.”

* * * * * * * * * *

It was a Thursday when you told me you loved me, it was a Thursday the first time we woke up together after that night, it was a Thursday when you proposed to me and it was a Thursday when we were married. We’ve been together nearly five years now and I love you more now than I did then. I came out of denial, came out of the closet and kicked the crap out Voldemort with you by my side of course. You were concerned at first when you revealed that you, like Snape were an undercover Death Eater and I admit that I was angry as hell at you, but I got over it.

Hermione was thrilled for us, Ron came around and Seamus and Dean each got a helluva lot of money because they had an underground pool going on us for years. I should be angry with them, but we got together so I can’t hold it against them. The fact that you were in on the pool makes me laugh at times.

It’s now a Thursday as I finish this memoir and you are walking in the house and calling to me. I reply with a welcome home and now your chin is pressing in the top of my head as you make an offhanded remark about me submitting this to Wicked Witches magazine…but only the dirty parts. I laugh and remind you that this is going to Witch Weekly who thinks that we have one of the greatest love stories of all time. 

You lean over to me and kiss me firmly, deeply, branding me as yours just as you did when you stole my very first kiss…on a Thursday.

I guess Thursdays aren’t so bad after all.

 

_I do have that belief about Thursdays! It is the worst day of the week and nothing good ever happens on a Thursday. Garfield has Mondays, Serenitas has her Thursdays. Don’t forget to review!_


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